How to be Helpful in Times of Grief: What You Can Say to Help

Be authentic in your expressions of compassion, however simple they may be. What you say does not matter as much as how you say it. Here are a few good fallbacks:

"I'm so sorry for your loss." Yes, it's completely unoriginal, but that doesn't really matter here. If you knew the person who passed away, you could add in meaningful memories. Most families would appreciate your recognizing their loved one and their loss.

"I'll call you in a few days to see how you're doing." This and other offers to help ("Is there anything I can do for you?" or "I'm here for you if you need anything") simply remind the person that you care and will continue to do so.

"It's okay to be lost for a while. You don't have to have the answers right now." Samantha Light-Gallagher, whose husband was killed in the line of duty in 2010, says this was one of the many things people said that helped her at the time. I think it gave her permission to mourn and flounder if she needed to—and breathe.