Classic Epitaphs

 

CL-1
The soul that suffers is stronger than the soul that rejoices.

CL-2
Tears are often the telescope by which men see far into Heaven.

CL-3
Strength is born in the deep silence of long-suffering hearts, not amid joy.

CL-4
What seems to us but dim funeral tapers may be Heaven's distant lamps.

CL-5
Death is the golden key that opens the palace of Eternity.

CL-6
There is a sweet job that comes to us through sorrow.

CL-7
Earth hath no sorrow that Heaven cannot heal.

CL-8
Heaven, the treasury of everlasting joy.

CL-9
Death is not foe, but an inevitable adventure.

CL-10
Every man's life is a plan of God.

CL-11
The acts of this life are the destiny of the next.

CL-12
Sorrows are like tall angels with star-crowns in their hair.

CL-13
The heart of him who truly loves is a paradise on Earth.

CL-14
Mutual love, the crown of all our bliss.

CL-15
To love is to place our happiness in the happiness of another.

CL-16
Humble love, and not proud science, keeps the door of Heaven.

CL-17
The greatest attribute of Heaven is mercy.

CL-18
Mercy to him that shows it, is the rule.

CL-19
Nature's loving proxy, the watchful mother.

CL-20
Dust thou art returnest, was not spoken of the soul.

CL-21
The kiss of the sun for pardon, the song of the birds for mirth, 
One's nearer God's heart in a garden, than anywhere else on Earth.

CL-22
Till the master of all good workmen shall set us to work anew.

CL-23
The end and the reward of toil is rest.

CL-24
In His will is our peace.

CL-25
Safe in the hallowed quiets of the past.

CL-26
Music, when soft voices die, vibrates in the memory.

CL-27
Each lonely scene shall thee restore.

CL-28
Things past belong to memory alone, things future are the property of hope.

CL-29
Yet in this heart's most sacred place, thou, alone, shall dwell forever.

CL-30
.....There hath pass'd away a glory from the earth.

CL-31
Joy, joy forever! - My task is done - the gates are pass'd and Heaven is won.

CL-32
Loving memories last forever

CL-33 
Ours for a little while, with Jesus forever

CL-34
I knew when I met you an adventure was going to happen

CL-35
Too well loved to ever be forgotten

CL-36
Love is eternal

CL-37
Gone, but not forgotten

CL-38
Love never ends

CL-39
Until we meet again

CL-40
What we keep in memory is ours unchanged forever

CL-41
To live in the hearts of others is not to die

CL-42
In God's care

CL-43
Rest is thine, sweet memory ours

CL-44
Rest in peace

CL-45
To die is gain

CL-46
Forever in our hearts

CL-47
Wonderful was your love for us

CL-48
Home with God

CL-49
In loving memory

CL-50
Great love lives on

CL-51
We love you always

CL-52
Always in our hearts

CL-53
An inspiration to all

CL-54
Love makes memory eternal

CL-55
Where there is great love there are always miracles

CL-56
Always loving, always loved

CL-57
A friend to many and sadly missed

CL-58
Our love is love forever

CL-59
Precious are the memories of (name)

CL-60
An inspiration to all

CL-61
Step softly, a dream lies buried here

CL-62 
With Christ in heaven

CL-63
One worthy of remembrance

CL-64
Generous of heart, constant of faith.

CL-65
I have fought the good fight, I have finished my course, I have kept the faith.

CL-66
Trust in God

CL-67
Where there is great love there are always miracles

Cemetery Monument Co.
2727 Lafayette Avenue
Bronx, NY 10465
718-824-3600
Cemetery Monument Co.

Planning a Memorial Service or Life Celebration

 

What is the difference between a memorial service and a celebration of life?

Planning a ceremony begins with one primary decision. Will the event be a traditional memorial service or a more contemporary life celebration? This planning guide provides detailed information and resources on how to do a memorial service or life celebration.

A memorial service is typically focused around a recent loss and often has religious overtones. A life celebration is centered on the joy of having been blessed by a person’s presence, and is often nonreligious in nature. When considering these options, it may be helpful to think about the culture of the family, religious preferences, circumstances leading up to death and any wishes previously indicated by the deceased.

For either style of service you choose to hold, below is a summarized checklist as a planning tool. Here are some details and resource links to help you with planning a memorial service.

1. Determine the type of service or celebration.
2. Decide on location, date and time, and who will attend.
3. Outline a budget.
4. If desired, publish details about the service or event with the obituary in local papers.
5. Compile a guest list and send invitations; include RSVP.
6. Decide who will officiate or host / hostess the event. Consider hiring a planner.
7. Select readings according to desired tone.
8. Write a eulogy; consider family or close friends to read, as well.
9. Choose music. Consider a friend to play, or hire a musician.
10. Decide sequence of readings, speeches and music.
11. Create a program.
12. If cremation has been chosen, consider a memorial urn for the service or keepsakes for close family and friends.
13. Consider important final touches: flowers, food and drink, a memory table or board, and a memory chest for written notes and/or photos.
14. Write thank-you notes or prepare a small thank-you gift for help received.

What is the significance of a memorial event?

Whether burial or cremation is chosen, there are important reasons for planning a remembrance. In a recent Huffington Post article, Marilyn Sewell writes about the significance of such an event.

The ritual of the funeral or the memorial service has several purposes. First of all, it helps mourners recognize the loss as real. Sometimes a body is present at the service, often not, but always we know that we are there to acknowledge that someone has died, and to acknowledge the death not just in fact, but in feeling. We come together to grieve in the presence of a caring community, and for the time of the service we have permission to give ourselves to the experience of loss.

These rituals are not truly observed for the dead, but are performed for the living. Interestingly, it is becoming more common for the dying to request no service at all. But often out of a need for closure, those who live gather to mourn and celebrate a life lost. A genuine need for support from one another during a difficult time, and reminders that life will continue are also reasons for gathering.

These ceremonies form an important part of our social fabric. They deserve the same attention as other important markers of life events, such as weddings and baby showers. Not to recognize an event of such magnitude can leave us vulnerable to the effects of un-channeled grief, can confuse children about how to handle death, and can postpone the beginning of closure that allows us to move forward.

Begin your planning by doing research. Gather ideas about a theme for the service by canvasing friends and family or by browsing the Internet. When planning a celebration of life service, your research can help inform your decision as to the type of service or celebration.

Who, Where, When?

As with any event, it’s important to set a budget. Many subsequent decisions will be determined by the budget.

After you have settled on the type of service and determined a budget, it’s time to secure an appropriate location and set a time and date. Just like any event, assemble a guest list and notify the guests. Include RSVP information to get a sense of how many will attend. You might consider asking invited guests to extend an invitation to others who have been overlooked.

Details about the service can be published in local papers, along with the obituary. Many families, though, prefer to keep such an event private. Remember that there is no rule that stipulates how soon after a death the service must happen. It is entirely appropriate to wait until out of town family can arrange to attend.

The next step is to coordinate help.

When planning a life celebration ask for help

Are you comfortable with planning and conducting the remembrance event yourself? Most individuals find it helpful to recruit a family member or friend to help out. Think of someone or a few people as being the hosts and hostesses to welcome guests and ensure a smooth flow to the event.

A pastor or hired celebrant can direct a portion of the ceremony. Additionally, an event planner can facilitate a broad range of planning and services. This allows freedom from having to focus on the logistical details of the service. On the day of, having a planner who can handle a seamless flow of the event can allow you to be present to your emotions and those of others. The sevenPONDS website offers guidance around hiring planners.

Choosing readings for the memorial service

As you begin to turn your thoughts toward the details of the service, start by researching a few readings appropriate to the desired tone of the event. If religious in nature, consult your pastor for suggestions as to scripture readings. If nonreligious, canvas friends or the Internet to find a good poem. The blog LoveToKnow has a lifestyle section on death and dying that offers a great deal of advice on planning remembrance events. Their entry on “Memorial Service Readings” suggests the following when making selections:

• The first and most important step when choosing the materials you will read is to follow the wishes of the deceased. If your loved one has selected a poem or scripture, use that in conjunction with a corresponding introduction and closing.
• Be brief. A lengthy reading is not required. Reserve time for guests to share, music and a few moments of silent reflection.
• Keep in mind, your introduction often sets the tone for the service-choose your words carefully.
• Offer a prayer or kind word for those in attendance, acknowledging their grief and expressing your gratitude.

(quoted on www.lovetoknow.com “Memorial Service Readings”)

Writing a memorial speech or eulogy

With readings in mind as a point of departure, you can now move on to writing a memorial speech or eulogy. If another friend or family member is to perform this task, coordinate on the tone of the service, when the speech will occur and other details that will influence the speech or eulogy. OneWorld Memorials’ contributing writer and celebrant Jerri Haaven has a detailed guide on Planning a Memorial Speech, offering sound advice on preparing and delivering this important piece. Her advice on delivery includes:

• Moderating your Voice - It is likely that there will be people in the audience who are hard of hearing. Speak loud enough for everyone to hear you, but don’t shout.

• [Taking it] Slow and Easy – Make a deliberate attempt to speak slowly. This helps to ensure that people are listening, and reduces any nervousness you might be experiencing.

• Pausing with Purpose – Pauses are powerful when used appropriately. Pauses between important statements allow your audience time to reflect, and afford you the opportunity to collect your thoughts.

• [Thinking about] Body Language – What is your body language saying? If your shoulders are slumped, or your hands are on hips or in your pockets, it may give the wrong impression.

• [Making] Eye Contact – Above all else, engage your audience with your eyes. If you reference someone by name, be sure to look at him or her at that moment.

Choosing music

Selecting music is similar to the process of selecting readings. The Light Beyond suggests that when choosing music, there are three purposes that might be fulfilled. They are:

• Commemorate the life and personality of the deceased
• Convey feelings for or about the deceased
• Express religious beliefs about death and life after death

(quoted in www.thelightbeyond.com)

Their blog entry goes on to list a number of popular tunes as a jumping off point toward determining final musical selections. One nice touch, if possible, is to have a close friend or family member perform. If this is not practical, consider hiring a local musician referred by a friend. Musical recordings can also be played from a stereo or sound system.

Remember to choose appropriate tunes to set the mood as guests arrive, in between speeches or as an interlude during a moment of remembrance, and a recessional as the ceremony concludes. Whether or not to continue music throughout a reception following the service is up to you. One advantage to hiring musicians for this purpose is that they can handle the selection of music, and will also be able to arrange it to suit the flow and temperament of the event.

Creating a memorial program

Don’t worry if writing or design layout isn’t your strong suit. Online templates to the rescue!

Once you have determined the type of service, established the location and time, assigned roles to the officiant, readers, and speakers, and chosen music, it’s time to prepare the program. There are many templates available online that allow for easy editing. LoveToKnow (referenced above) offers one such template as a free editable PDF document.

If finding, downloading and editing the template still seem daunting, ask for help from a computer savvy friend. Alternately, hire a service to create the program. The minimum that you will need to provide includes:

• A photograph of the deceased or appropriate image for the cover of the program
• A copy of the obituary
• A copy of brief readings to include
• The order of the speakers, readings and music during the service, with names of participants
• The time, date and location of the service

Proof a draft of the program before agreeing to the final product. Print enough copies for all of your guests plus a few extra. Many people keep these as mementoes.

Don’t forget the finishing touches

Some important final touches will tie everything together and make for a more memorable experience.

Flowers always add warmth. Choose according to the personality and preferences of the deceased, the season, or a related theme. Flowers are a symbol of the fragility of life. They also communicate hope during tough times.

When planning a celebration of life, refreshments after the service offer a relaxed way for people to share in a casual atmosphere. You could plan to have family prepare favorite comfort foods. Alternatively have the event catered.

Also, consider creating a memory table or a memory board to display prized possessions, proudest moments, or a synopsis of a lifetime through photographs. This helps guests to connect with the person they came to say goodbye to. Photographs, in particular, can trigger a variety of memories and conversations that wouldn’t necessarily bubble up otherwise.

One last consideration is that of guest participation. This helps to enrich the attendees’ experience and the catharsis of conflicting emotions. There are many ways to invite participation, one being to have guests write anonymous notes to the deceased and place them in a memory box or memorial urn, such as a memorial chest.

Bereavement is usually considered a solitary journey through daily aloneness. Sharing the loss with others offers the potential to unlock silent grieving. Honoring the lost loved one with others through a memorial service or life celebration can provide unforeseen comfort and immeasurable support.

Cemetery Monument Co.
2727 Lafayette Avenue
Bronx, NY 10465
718-824-3600
Cemetery Monument Co.

Happy Halloween

 

Cemetery Monument Co.
2727 Lafayette Avenue
Bronx, NY 10465
718-824-3600
Cemetery Monument Co.

12 Tips for Grieving After Loss

Written by Gloria Horsley for HuffPost


At one or more points in our life, we all experience some type of loss. It could be the loss of a relationship due to a breakup or divorce, of a job or business, of a pet, of a loved one, of health or the sense of safety after a traumatic event. Whatever the tragedy, the natural response is to grieve in some form.


Depending on the significant of the loss, the grief may be more or less intense. The degree of grief also varies by the individual based on how each person handles situations. Despite the differences, there are some overall tips that can help you manage the grieving process after a loss.

1. Understand there are stages to grief. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross developed a five-stage system for the process of grief in which people tend to go through various stages of emotions after loss. The first stage is denial in which a person does not want to believe that the event happened followed by the second stage, which is anger. The third step is a negotiation process with one's self in which a person offers something in return for the loss to have never happened. The fourth step is depression, which is often debilitating followed by the last stage, which is acceptance that the loss happened. From there, a person can typically move on from the loss. There is no hard and fast timeline to each stage of grief, and there are situations where a person falls back to the previous stage before moving ahead through the grieving process. Being aware of the stages does provide something for your coping mechanism to process along the way.
2. Recognize the symptoms of grief. There are mostly emotional symptoms involved with grief. Since many of the feelings involved are so devastating, there are physical manifestations that can emerge as well. This roller coaster of feelings can involve everything from deep sadness and a sense of going crazy to shock, guilt, and fear. A person may even start doubting their religious faith. In terms of physical symptoms associated with grieving, be aware that you could feel nauseous and fatigued, suffer from insomnia, experience aches and pains, and/or gain or lose weight. Knowing these symptoms can better prepare you to fight them when they appear. This includes being able to consciously tell yourself that the grief is manifesting itself in various ways and you need to diagnose and treat those symptoms.
3. Let yourself grieve. So often, people get stuck on the first few stages of grief and are paralyzed because they don't let themselves give into the emotions involved. It's necessary to let yourself take this roller coaster ride and react to the wave of emotions rather than to try to suppress them. No matter how hard to bury those feelings associated with the grief, they will not stay that way nor will you be able to truly move forward. By letting yourself give into the grief, you can start the healing process.
4. Lean on friends and family. Your family and friends expect you to be upset and, while they may not know what to do, they do want to be there for you even if it's just to listen and offer some affection. Don't feel too proud or embarrassed to lean on them in this time of need. If you can articulate what you need from them, then it's even better. This network of support provides a caring and safe place to seek refuge during all stages of grief. Friends and family tolerate all types of emotions in those they love, so they will let you go through those stages and remain loyal.
5. Join a support group online, offline, or both. Whether it is through social media groups and platforms or it's in person, support groups offer a way to talk and listen to others who know exactly what you are going through. While your close-knit circle of friends and family members love you, they may not have experienced the same type of loss. However, when meeting with those who have as part of a bereavement support group at a counseling or community center, this shared sorrow can also go a long way to helping the healing process.
6. Turn to your faith. If you have a particular religious affiliation or have in the past, this is the time to return to that stronghold in your life and gain solace from spiritual activities. This could involve speaking to a member of your religious organization, meditating on any writings associated with your belief, and praying. Some faith-based organizations also have meetings or talks focused on dealing with loss that you can tap into for comfort and guidance throughout the various stages of grief.
7. Seek out a therapist. Like the support groups, a therapist has experienced loss through having heard the stories and feelings of many patients just like you. They are trained to provide grief counseling in which they walk through the stages of grief with you, helping with advice and tactics for dealing with intense emotions and any barriers to mental and emotional healing that appear along the way.
8. Express your feelings. While it can be difficult to talk about your emotions even in less troubling times, this is an important part of the process that you must do. You don't necessarily have to just express your feelings verbally. Instead, you can consider keeping a journal, write letters to the person or even thing you lost, create a scrapbook and compile the happy memories that you enjoyed before the loss or take up a cause that was important to the person you may have lost. These are tangible ways to deal with the range of intangibles the loss has thrown at you.
9. Take care of your physical and emotional wellbeing. You are no good to others or yourself if you stop taking care of your physical health. And, by taking care of your physical wellbeing, you will find that the exercise, movement, and balanced diet will help you combat the grief and work towards a healthier emotional and mental wellbeing. This is not the time to turn to drugs or alcohol to numb the pain. It will only lift your mood temporarily while doing long-term physical and mental damage to yourself and your other relationships. Plus, it puts you at risk for addiction.
10. Focus on the positive aspects of your life. This loss could feel like the worst thing ever in your life and no one can tell you any different. However, what you do need is to consider all the good things that are still with you in life that are worth working through the grief. You cannot feel guilty about getting back to living and enjoying life. It may even help to make a list of all the positive things in your life that are "gains." Set against that loss, these "gains" begin to outweigh the sadness and provide a catapult to help you move forward again.
11. Get immediate help if you have become addicted to drugs or alcohol and/or suffering from depression. The greatest concern is if you feel as though you cannot continue. This emotional paralysis could be a sign of depression that needs more assistance from professionals in your local community. Combined with a reliance on drugs and alcohol that may have now taken hold of you in the form of addiction, this depression will only get worse if you do not seek immediate help. More groups are focused on making an impactful difference in terms of the type of community outreach programs that are available to help more people understand mental health and addiction are happening among those who have suffered loss and that those in this position should know that non-judgmental help is available.
12. Plan for life event "triggers." While you may have been able to navigate through all the stages of grief, know that there may be "triggers" in the near future that may bring all those emotions rushing back once more. Typically, there are life milestones that remind you of a loss like holidays, birthdays, anniversaries or some other special event. Here is where families and friends can again lend support so call on them. Most likely, they will be thinking about those moments too and will be wondering how you feel. Have a plan where you can turn these "triggers" into positive moments, such as a celebration or time to meditate on the happiness you enjoyed together before the loss.

Places like American Addiction Centers (AAC) and people like HoldSpace founders, Chris and Bobby Bailey, are looking to tackle mental health and addiction issues among youth through Project HoldSpace. While adults struggle with loss, younger people have an even more difficult time as they are already trying to comprehend the range of emotions they are experiencing as teenagers let alone processing any grief.

Behavioral expert Joan Burger-Holt said "I have been involved with many community outreach educational efforts for many years focusing on mental health & addiction awareness. They are good and positive but not "impactful". The Bailey Brothers made an impact in my community. My community is talking to each other, to me, to AAC and to Chris and Bobby. For the first time I have witnessed real and true disclosure to share and to help. There are no political gains, it's not self serving, it's real and it's raw."

Holt later said "Repetition is key for the concept to soak in. Their message needs to continue to move forward and then circle back around again. The circle symbol of Hold Space. I think community agencies can assist with the repetition of their message in full circle".

People who have been in the same position and have personally experienced the feelings of loss and the desperation of addiction have designed this project based on their own experiences and road to recovery. The Bailey Brothers and AAC understand that providing the support, love, and caring environment necessary can guide young people through difficult situations in their lives while addressing any mental health or addictions that have previously held them back.

Cemetery Monument Co.
2727 Lafayette Avenue
Bronx, NY 10465
718-824-3600
Cemetery Monument Co.

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Cemetery Monument Co.
2727 Lafayette Avenue
Bronx, NY 10465
718-824-3600
Cemetery Monument Co.

Epitaphs for Children

 

Children-1

• Our precious angel

Children-2

• Sleep, my little one, sleep

Children-3

• Children are a heritage of the Lord

Children-4

• Asleep in Jesus

Children-5

• Remembering a tiny angel

Children-6

• Gone to be an angel

Children-7

• "He carries the lamb in his bosom."

Children-8

• So small, so sweet, so soon

Children-9

• God's gift to us - our gift to God

Children-10

• "Suffer little children to come unto Me."

Children-11

• Gone so soon

Children-12

• Lord, we give you our littlest angel

Children-13

• Our baby sunshine

Children-14

• I pray the Lord my soul to keep

Children-15

• In God's care

Cemetery Monument Co.
2727 Lafayette Avenue
Bronx, NY 10465
718-824-3600
Cemetery Monument Co.